When considering suicide prevention, focus often centres on those at risk. But what happens to those left behind—especially when it's their job to save lives? As a firefighter who lost her brother to suicide and has attended countless suicide scenes, I embarked on a PhD journey to understand how fellow firefighters live with and through these profound experiences.
This presentation shares findings from the first qualitative study to explore firefighters' experiences of suicide exposure from an insider researcher perspective. Through narrative inquiry methodology and in-depth interviews with 20 Australian firefighters, this research identified that suicide creates "coherence violations"—fundamental disruptions to how firefighters understand themselves, the world, and their purpose within it.
Four key themes emerged describing these experiences. Firefighters described conflicting truths between their expectations of life and the reality of suicide, navigating liminal spaces of uncertainty that challenge their professional identity as life protectors. They shared fears about their futures—"it could be me"—and reflections on the past, questioning whether they could have prevented deaths encountered.
The cultural context of firefighting—built on rationality, control, and saving lives—makes exposure to suicide particularly challenging. When someone chooses to end the life you're trained to preserve, it strikes at the core of firefighter identity. This represents more than trauma; it's an existential crisis that generic support services fail to address.
One month before thesis submission, a respected firefighter within the organisation died by suicide. Applying research findings in real time while working with StandBy Support crystallised the urgent need for culturally-informed postvention services.
This research offers evidence-informed solutions: staged response protocols recognising critical periods; culturally-competent resources developed with firefighters' voices; training programs addressing uncertainty tolerance; and medium-to-long-term support focused on meaning-making rather than crisis intervention alone.
Most importantly, this work demonstrates co-creation's power. By integrating lived experience, rigorous research, and practical application, we move beyond studying problems to building solutions alongside those who understand them best.